Bernard did the same. By the end of the sandwiches we had made more new friends. Mostly they were women who hung out to get tips from Bernard, and to tease him about his open gayness. Now and then one smiled at me, but I decided to be cool at least for a while longer.We got back to my place before 11PM. Neither of us was ready for a repeat of the night before. We did sit and talk for a short time over a Canadian Club and Ginger Ale. I learned more about the Reality TV Network. Reality TV was the cheapest to produce. The owners not only paid the stars shit wages, they also paid the craft people very poorly as well. So most of their craft people were burnouts and new hires right out of college."You said before that Earl was a burnout?" I made it question."Earl was a hot shot right out of college camera man when they flew the planes into the world trade center. He shot images for the local pbs station. None of the film ever got used, it was too graphic. He never really got over it, they. Her personality was what one would call weak and labile or unstable. She could seem loving and caring one moment and bitter, angry and brutal the next. You never knew in advance.During her lifetime, even in her teens, she had been in and out of trouble with the police for drug usage, more times than anyone can remember.So between, my mother being in jail or in a "mental ward" drying out, and my father (and brother) being in jail for drunkenness and fighting, you could say that my family was dysfunctional.I never had to live as "a ward of the state", but there were many times that that option had been considered by the authorities.The first justification to my being abused and neglected was that I was not a wanted member of the family. My brother was "the son", the strong manly son that they had always wanted. I was the other son, the son who had taken the place of the daughter that they should have had.Oh, I knew that part well! I had it hammered into me so often, far too often, so.
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